A 35-year-old content creator from China described family pressure and the fear of growing older without a partner in a TikTok video. In a video, Linglong describes an argument with her mother after her mother tried to set her up with a man who was more than 50 years old.

She described herself as a single woman in China questioning whether her age should determine her romantic choices.

"Is 35 really too old?" she asks in the video.

She said she knew she was no longer 25, but does not want anxiety about age or society's expectations to affect her decisions. She also uses the Chinese term "sheng nu," which translates to "leftover women." That term is derogatory and has historically described unmarried women considered to be past the socially preferred age for marriage.

The woman says her past relationships have taught her that being with the wrong person can be more painful than being alone. So while she is open to finding love, she "would rather be single than let fear choose my life for me."

The video was originally posted on TikTok and later shared in r/TikTokCringe, where it drew more than 6,800 upvotes as of publication. It has also sparked a lengthy discussion about the pressure to marry, particularly in Asian families.

Several commenters said they had the same experience. One Reddit user said they had spent years in relationships because they did not want to be alone. In contrast, another said they realized that being with an incompatible partner was not worth constantly suppressing themselves. Others focused specifically on cultural expectations.

One commenter said their parents sent photographs of potential spouses after the commenter turned 30, while another said family pressure to marry can be especially intense in Asian communities.

People in the thread also said that marriage pressure is not limited to women. Some described similar expectations from men, such as parents arranging marriages or asking why an adult is unmarried.

At the same time, there was a shift in attitudes toward marriage in China, as Reuters reported in March 2024 that more Chinese women were choosing to remain single and child-free. Some prioritized careers while others prioritized personal autonomy over traditional family roles.

According to China's national census data, the average age of first marriage rose from 24.89 in 2010 to 28.67 in 2020.

China is simultaneously trying to encourage marriage and childbirth as it also faces demographic decline. Marriage registrations fell 16.6% year over year during the first three quarters of 2024, Reuters reported. The government's encouragement of births has, on the other hand, been criticized for its inherent gender expectations and the costs of raising children.

Against that backdrop, Linglong's message goes beyond one argument between a mother and daughter.