When Akron residents had problems, they sought expert advice.
Syndicated columnist Ann Landers (1918-2002) was there to help.
Iowa native Esther "Eppie" Lederer joined the Chicago Sun-Times in 1955 after winning a writing contest following the death of original Ann Landers columnist Ruth Crowley.
Lederer's twin sister, Pauline Phillips, wrote a similar column called Dear Abby under the name of Abigail Van Buren.
Local history: Advice columnist had all the answers — and then some
Some people preferred to share their troubles with the entire world rather than attempt to solve them in private.
Landers appeared in more than 1,200 newspapers, including the Akron Beacon Journal, and enjoyed a daily readership of 90 million people.
Over the decades, she handled many Akron queries. We found many examples. Maybe you know these writers.
Dear Ann: One of the most useful aspects of your column is that it gives people a chance to compare their own troubles with the troubles others are having.
That letter on bedsheets for instance. I forgot women actually take pride in their homes. My wife sends everything to the laundry, serves TV dinners three nights a week and wants to be taken out to a restaurant the other four.
I doubt there's an iron in our home. Thanks for reminding me that some women still keep house. — X in Akron, Ohio
Dear Ann: Aren't the early arrivals at a wedding entitled to the choice seats? Recently we went to a wedding and got seats on the center aisle.
Every time a couple was ushered to our row my husband motioned for me to scoot over. One couple just stood there until we moved down. We ended up at the very end of the row which made me mad.
There's another wedding coming up and I'd like to know what's proper. If you say we should move down, and surrender our choice seats to the late-comers, I'm going to start arriving LATE instead of early. — Akron Reader
Dear Akron: The early arrivals are entitled to the choice seats. Tell your husband it's not impolite for people who have snagged the aisle seats to hang on to them. If late-comers motion for you to move down, simply stand there as if your feet were embedded in cement and signify with a gesture for them to move on down.
Dear Ann: I just found out my real dad died the year I was born. Mom married a nice man a couple of years later. He has been a good father to me. I have two little brothers 8 and 10 years of age. I am 12. They don't know we have different fathers.
Many friends and relatives must know but I don't think they'd ever tell. Should I tell my brothers now or wait till they are older? I'm sure it won't make any difference in their feeling for me as we love each other very much. — Akron
Dear Akron: Tell your mother what you know, and suggest she tell your brothers before they learn it elsewhere — as you did.
This sort of information never makes any difference when it is told early and by the proper person. It's only when it comes from an outsider that it can produce shock.
Dear Ann: Boy, do we have a problem! We have been invited to three weddings on the same day. One wedding will be in Martins Ferry (a niece on my wife's side), another wedding is in Akron (my sister's son is getting married to an Akron girl), and the third wedding is right here in Cleveland.
My wife wants to go to the Martins Ferry wedding because most of her family will be there. Our kids want to go to the Akron wedding because they have many friends in Akron. I think we should attend the Cleveland wedding because these people have been lifelong friends and way back last winter we offered to house four of their out-of-town guests. They did the same for us when our daughter was married.
All the invitations arrived on the same day. — Tattered Triangle
Dear Tattered: It sounds as if you accepted the Cleveland invitation "way last winter." Therefore, you'd better stay in town and house those guests.
If you are able to attend a prenuptial dinner in either Akron or Martins Ferry, I recommend it. Phone and suggest this alternative when you make your apologies.
Dear Ann: I have heard it said that there is no such thing as love at first sight, but I am living proof that love at first sight can happen. I am floating on a cloud. I hear a million violins. If this is a dream I hope I never wake up.
The man walked into the office at noon yesterday. All he did was ask me to direct him to the manager's office. His voice sounded like a radio announcer's. I knew instantly this was it! About 20 minutes later he came by and said, "Do you happen to have a luncheon date?" I replied, "No, I don't." Before I knew what hit me we were having spaghetti and wine in a divine little Italian place.
The man is single, three years older than I am and lives in Akron. He says he'll call me next week when he comes through town again. We like the same movie stars, books, records and I know he's what I've been waiting for all my life. Please, Ann, don't tell me there is no such thing as love at first sight. — Snowed
Dear Snowed: Any girl who can go scooby-dooby-do on one lunch is beyond my reach. But I hope you'll keep this column around and look at it six months from now.
Sorry, Doll, I still say there's no such thing as love at first sight. You've been hit by a chemical reaction — not love. If your Akron boyfriend possesses the qualities that count in a relationship he may be the big love of your life — but time alone will tell. Infatuation at a glance — yes. Love — no.
Dear Ann: Our 19-year-old daughter is in her sixth month of pregnancy. Her husband is in Vietnam. He will be going to Hawaii in seven weeks for his R. and R. Vanessa is very eager to join him. Both her father and I think it would be risky since she will be in her eighth month by then. My brother, who is an attorney, says most airlines would refuse to fly her.
Vanessa is carrying very small and she insists that if she wears a loose coat the airline authorities won't even know she is pregnant. She also says airline stewardesses are trained to meet all emergencies.
We have received so much conflicting information we don't know who to believe. Can you clarify this situation for us? — Akron Query
Dear AQ: The best authority is Vanessa's doctor. It is doubtful he would give the go signal to a woman in her eighth month. If Vanessa should go into labor 30,000 feet over the Pacific, the loose coat wouldn't help much.
It is true that airline stewardesses are trained for emergencies, but this is expecting too much.
Dear Ann: Recently across the nation millions of eager readers searched their newspapers for your compassionate advice, your acerbic wit, your gentle needling seasoned with wisdom and deep understanding. What did they find? A recipe for meatloaf. A whole column.
Please, Ann, leave the meatloaf to the food editors. Stick to your knitting — of our emotional breaks. Recipes we can get other places. What you give us cannot be duplicated. — A Devoted Reader in Akron
Dear Ak: Your letter doesn't indicated whether you are male or female, but I'll risk it. Here's a kiss from Chicago. X. Got it?
Dear Ann: This may sound strange to you, especially because the problem hasn't come up yet, but I know it will one day and I want to be prepared.
I'm a Roman Catholic boy, 17. Every night before dinner we say a blessing and after dinner we say two more prayers. So far, all the girls I have invited to dinner have been Romans, but what about the time I invite someone who is of another faith?
Should I ask my parents to omit the prayers out of respect to my guest? I don't believe it is right to inflict one's religion on someone else. What do you think? — Uncertain in Akron
Dear Ak: No family should omit religious rituals for guests. Any guest who does not wish to participate can be a silent spectator.
The host's religion should be respected by all who enter the house, just as you and your parents would respect the rights of others to worship in their home — in their own way.
Dear Ann: Is it possible that some people in this world don't realize that alcoholism is a serious problem in many families? Do they honestly believe they are being hospitable when they badger a guest to "have just one" after he says, "No, thank you"?
My husband refuses to admit it but he is an alcoholic. Weeks go by and he doesn't touch a drop. (Those weeks are heaven for me. He's a different man.) But once he takes that first drink he is helpless. He can't stop.
Last Friday evening we went to a party. The hostess is a well-known big lush. She kept hassling my husband to have a drink. When he said he didn't care for one, she put her glass to his lips and he took a sip. Well — he's been drunk every night since.
Please print his letter for every host and hostess who won't take no for an answer. So many people need to see it in print. — Akron, Ohio
Dear Akron: Here it is with no comment from me. You've said it all and I thank you.
Dear Ann: I am a 16-year-old girl who has read your column for years, but I never took it seriously. It was like reading stories about other people's lives. I never saw myself in any of those letters.
Well, now I know what some of those teenage girls were talking about. I have been married for four months and my baby is due in eight weeks. I have brought a lot of unhappiness to my parents as well as shame to myself. Funny, I was so positive I could handle anything that came along. Well, I was wrong.
Just a couple last words for those teenagers out there. There's a big difference between reading for entertainment and reading for information. I wish now I had applied many of the things Ann Landers spoke about to my own life. From now on I am going to be a different kind of reader. — Concerned for My Peers in Akron
Dear Concerned: Sixteen is awfully young for motherhood, but I wish you well. Don't hesitate to write again if you feel the need. That's what I'm here for.
Dear Ann: Please tell the truth. When you were a Girl Scout could you actually make a fire by rubbing two pieces of wood together? — E.G. in Akron, Ohio
Dear E.G.: Yes. If one of them was a match.
Dear Ann: While going through my mother's personal papers I found this gem. (Mom was 93 and sharp as a tack.) Please print it, Ann. It certainly speaks to the problem of our times. — E.E.K. in Akron
Dear Ak: Right you are. Here it is:
A disgruntled school teacher handed in her resignation with the following comment: "In our public schools today, the teachers are afraid of the principals, the principals are afraid of the superintendents, the superintendents are afraid of the board members, the board members are afraid of the parents, the parents are afraid of the children and the children are afraid of nobody."
Dear Ann: Our son has not called me "Mother" since he was in grade school. He has never in his life called his father "Dad."
"Arthur" married recently and his wife never calls me anything either, although when we first met I asked her to please call me by my first name.
Arthur and his wife are 30 years of age. They are both educated and successful in business. Should I make an issue of it or is it best to remain … — Nameless in Akron
Dear Ak: Pick the appropriate moment when you are alone with your son and his wife and tell them exactly how you feel. Do it in a low-key, non-accusatory way, emphasizing how much it would please you.
I wouldn't be surprised if they honored your request. Sometimes all it takes is to tell people exactly what is on your mind.
Dear Ann: My husband and I are the new owners of a beautiful old home. We agreed to purchase the house at the couple's asking price, if the matching custom furniture was included. Everyone agreed. A week later, they changed their minds. We had fallen in love with the house so we bought it anyway. We purchased some of the furniture under separate agreement and paid top dollar for it. The seller's daughter told us we could have whatever pieces were left behind.
Upon our taking possession, the wife became very emotional and cried on the back porch. I tried to be sympathetic and assured her that we would take very good care of the house she loved so much.
It has been two weeks since we moved into this place and not a day has gone by that the wife hasn't phoned me about something and then shown up. On her first visit she took back some tables that she said we could have. The next morning, she asked for the sweeper back. The same afternoon, she came by for a lamp that her daughter was "attached to." The woman literally pulled the plug on my son who was using it to do homework.
Yesterday she called in the morning and asked if she could drop off some brochures on how to care for the lawn. I told her my husband was very good with lawns and we didn't need any literature. When I returned home, she was at the neighbor's house waiting for me. She had "forgotten" the chess set that was in the basement.
I don't want to get ugly, Ann, but this thing is getting out of control. What do you suggest? — Unsettled in Akron, Ohio
Dear Akron: I hate to sound like a broken record but I'm saying it one more time. "No one can take advantage of you without your permission."
You have allowed this incredibly nervy woman — she is also severely neurotic — to manipulate you unmercifully. Explain that the very sight of her and the sound of her voice makes you feel guilty for having bought the house she loved so much and although you know it's irrational, that's the way it is, so please do not telephone or come to the house ever again.
Dear Ann: I have been happily married for 10 years to a gem of a husband except for one thing — he has had 35 jobs in 10 years. We went for counseling and were told he is "impulsive and extroverted."
I am tired of being the breadwinner in the family. We have virtually no savings, and most of what we do have will be depleted soon because he is out of his work — again. He told me he wants a job where he can set his own hours and have Fridays off. Whoever heard of such a thing?
I am at my wits' end, Ann. Divorce is not an option because I love him and would never leave him. What can I do to make him more responsible? — Tired in Akron, Ohio
Dear Akron: Nothing. There's a lot of wisdom in the creed of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's "accept that which you cannot change." I recommend it.
Mark J. Price can be reached at [email protected]
More: Vintage photos: 50 memorable Cleveland TV personalities
This article originally appeared on Akron Beacon Journal: Ann Landers helped solve Akron's problems | Local history